More Than You'll Ever Know
by kiarysama
Summary: Even in his final moments, it will always be Kagome on his mind. (ONESHOT) (KogxKag)


Why is she looking at me like that?

Why did her beautiful lake tinted eyes shine so brightly?

Wet. Her face was wet. So was mine. She was crying.

Her dark hair was a tangled mess. I don't think I've ever seen her look so defeated, such a mess and even then she still looked like the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. I could hear her sobs with every breath, every hiccup stabbing at my heart. Who hurt you so badly? What caused you such pain?

_**"Koga-kun!"**_

She was sobbing even harder. All I could do was stare. My head felt like it was made of fog, my body like a rock sinking in water.

She was crying… for me?

No, that thought was futile. She could never care that much, could never feel such hurt over someone like me. It pained me to even think about me causing her discomfort. I don't want you to cry, Kagome._ I don't want to see you like this_.

And even so, I knew I was telling myself a lie. I knew, with the way you clutched me to your chest, that you were desperate to not see me go. That even as I'm fading, your face is the most blissful thing I could possibly imagine during my last moments and that I was grateful. Grateful to see you, grateful to feel you, grateful to _love _you. Grateful that you cared enough to sob tears for me, to treasure me.

I let my hand find your hair, my fingers curled into those long locks. I've always loved your smell, Kagome. I've always wished that you'd one day find your way to me. I only dreamed of the days I'd bring you to the mountain tops, flowers embedded in your hair as I held you close and we looked at the sky. You'd tell me about all your dreams, all your life events. I longed to learn more about your life.

Why are you looking at me with such loving eyes? I feel betrayed. I wished for those eyes ever since the day I met you.

_**"Koga-kun, please don't die..." **_

I could hear the torment in your voice as it trembled. You were shaking, hands holding me like I could disappear any minute now.

Maybe I would.

I knew my body was in immense pain, my brain was trying to block it out. I could smell my own blood continuously pooling from my side. I couldn't do much to ease her pain.

Stroking her hair, I let my hand find its way to her face, my fingers caressing her lips. I wish I could kiss you now, Kagome. I had always imagined your lips were too soft for my hunger. Had I placed mine upon them, I don't think I'd ever stop.

Stop crying, Kagome. I'm nothing but a wolf.

I could feel my eyes burning hot before my face grew more damp. Tears were strolling down my cheeks. What a pathetic man I must seem like. To be dying and afraid of death. No… _To be afraid of never seeing you again. _

So maybe it was never meant to be for the two of us. Maybe you were only here to torment me, to remind me of love so that I wouldn't be such a senseless beast. You made me soft, Kagome. But you're someone worth protecting.

I could still remember the day we first met. I wish I could apologize for kidnapping you, but in a way I don't regret it. It's what helped me fall in love with you. I got to see your spirit, your loyalty. No human had ever slapped me in the face before, let alone a human girl. I learned my lesson since then. I didn't exactly treat you the nicest. So I tried to make up for it every other time I saw you. I wanted to bring you a dozen flowers, meals if I could, more gifts than any woman could carry. Every time I caught a whiff of your scent, I'd come running with no self control. The thought of seeing you always plagued my mind. You were always with that stupid dog, Inuyasha. But I suppose I should thank him for always protecting you when I couldn't. I guess I owe him one.

_**"Koga-kun, please!" **_

I can feel the heat coming from your body. Your fingertips caressing my face. I never knew your touch could be so healing, so peaceful. I wish I could have more time, but breathing is painful. It seems with every inhale, I lose a little bit more blood. I wanted to be closer. I wanted to be engulfed in you Kagome, at least once.

Turning was a bother, but I managed to wrap my other arm around your waist. I guess you could sense how weak I was, because here you are now, laying down beside me. You're letting me place my face in your neck, letting my arms cradle you while you stroked my head and I did the same. My nostrils finally rid of my blood's scent, now filled with nothing but you.

_**"Are you gonna be alright, Koga-kun?"**_

I don't know Kagome. The world is becoming fuzzy. You're getting harder to hear. I can feel your heartbeat, feel your breath. You feel just as fragile as I am.

"Just let me stay like this." I managed to croak out. I didn't even recognize my own voice. Speaking felt like demon teeth chewing at my lungs. Your hair felt soft in my fingers. I wanted to touch your ivory skin.

You pulled back only to stare at my face. I was instantly bothered, having been ripped away from your scent, but upon seeing your face, seeing your eyes hold so much for me, I felt nothing but love, Kagome. I just wanted to kiss you, to make you mine, to start a family. You'd be the best damn wolf pack leader. Hell, you're the best goddamn woman in this fucked up world.

You cradled my face in your hands. I could feel my body trying to slack. Please, just a little bit longer.

"I love you, Kagome." I leaned over, gently placing my lips on yours. It was probably the most incompetent kiss I could ever give you. My head felt like it was being pulled. But you kissed back. You kissed me back and god did it feel like heaven. Your lips were just as I imagined, only much more delicious. You tasted like something sweet and broken. God you feel broken. Your tears mixing in with mine, the salt on our lips. I was broken too.

_**"I love you, Koga."**_ whispered against my lips.

It was a stab to my chest. The words I longed to hear finally leaving your mouth. I was in the most pain, yet the happiest I have ever been in my life. Kagome loved me. She actually felt for me. She was crying for me, wrapped up in my arms, lying with me. Why was I so weak for a mortal woman? Why couldn't I have tried harder? Where did I go wrong to let this woman see me die?

I pulled her in close, cradling my face in her neck once again. I held on much tighter this time, despite the sharp pains I felt all throughout my body. I was scared, so fucking terrified of losing her now. Of knowing I'd leave her alone and destroyed. I couldn't stop my tears nor could I stop my body from shaking. I love you, Kagome. I never want you to forget that.

"I'm sorry." was all I could manage. I'll remember everything from this life onto my next. I can promise you that. I can promise you the world. I can promise that I'd find you in my next life. That I'd do anything in my power to make you happy and never let you slip away again. That I'd never be so weak as to die like this again.

I could feel my breaths becoming shallow. I couldn't hear the birds anymore, just a small hum. I was dying in your arms, Kagome. Full of love and warmth. Full of your scent and soft touch. This was the best way I could go. I could feel myself smile. Kagome, you loved me. I think that's enough.

"_**Koga?! Koga!"**_

I love you Kagome.

I love you more than you'll ever know.


End file.
